3 Steps on How to Master the Art of Saying No

Saying no is not something that comes easily to any of us. Especially those like myself in the service industry. We have to practice it. We have to hone our skills in making sure we deliver it with the correct tone and in the correct context.  

When people hear the word no they tend to tense up a bit. No one likes to be told that they can’t have something. In fact, the word almost always brings up memories of being denied something in either the recent past or within our families of origin.

So HOW do you decline that invitation or piece of business? Or dare we even say it, a date, with tact, charm and a little bit of humor to maintain your boundaries this holiday and booking season!

Step 1: Get Honest - H 

Who should you get honest with? Yourself. First and foremost, what are your boundaries and where do they begin and end? By getting right with yourself you allow the space for honesty with others to be open. Respect is earned not through dodging a question, but by facing it head on and explaining your future roadmap. You never know - the person you might be saying no to could be the source of your next opportunity. 

Step 2: Be Open - O

Yes, no is a complete sentence, i.e. No. With no explanation needed before or after. It can be scary to say. It might mean earning less money. Or leaving a coveted booking date open. Even the potential of missing out on a personal date that could lead somewhere great. We can all get bogged down in the details of saying no that we forget to be open to the possibilities could happen. Instead of focusing on the “what could have been” we forget to be open to the “what’s coming next.” By opening up your space in setting these boundaries, the possibilities are endless.

Step 3: Willing - W

Last, but never least in our HOW to say no, is to remember to be willing to change. To try new things, to set new expectations, to say no so that you can say yes (when it’s right.) Now trust me, this is the pot calling the kettle black, as I am always learning this lesson myself. But I believe that in learning it together, practicing it in real life, and seeing the results, we all become a little more willing to use this simple two letter word to transform our lives.