12 Ways You're Coming Off Rude

Let’s face it. No one really wants to be rude on purpose. Well, maybe psychopaths, but you’re not one of them so…moving on. We’re jerks to those around us, usually because we have no idea what we did and how it impacted them.

Most people won’t tell you what you’re doing to offend them because humans are culturally prone to avoid conflict. So, we’re here to call you out and help you figure out how to behave instead. Check out these 12 things you might be doing that are rude and how to avoid them.

No. 1 - Not Paying Attention in a Meeting

Put the phone down, take notes, and ask questions if you want to win over your boss and colleagues.

No. 2 – Talking on the Phone in a Quiet Space

Airplanes, hallways, restaurants, or coffee shops. Not cool. Save your calls for later and zippa the lippa.

 No. 3 – Walking While Texting

Don’t be that guy who crashes into people while crossing the street or coming out of the elevator. Just don’t. Trust us, it can wait.

 No. 4 – Typing While on a Virtual Meeting or Conference Call

We can all hear you click away at the keyboard. And don’t think if you put the call on mute to do it silently we won’t know. It’s tooooo quiet and people recognize you’re not fully present.

 No. 5 – Missing a Milestone

Birthdays and anniversaries are one thing, but skipping a major achievement on a collaborative project is another. Don’t move on too soon without celebrating successes.

 No. 6 – Interrupting People

Stop doing it. Unless you legitimately have ADHD, you have no excuse to jump in while someone else is talking. Wait your turn to talk. Even better, you should consider actually listening to what the other person is saying.

No. 7 – Using the Phone while in a Group Setting

Imagine your phone is a book. Would you break a book out at a meeting and start reading? Would you bring a book to a dining table shared by others? Would you read a book at a dinner party? That’s what we thought…

No. 8 – Showing Up Late

Trust is built by doing what you said you’d do by when you said you’d do it. If you’re tardy, you do more than miss the start of the meeting. You miss the mark on forming trust with those who matter to you.

No. 9 - Shutting Down Others’ Ideas

Everyone wants to feel heard and included. It’s human nature to want in the cave with everyone else. When you shut out others’ suggestions or perspectives, you’re telling them you’d rather see them eaten by the saber-tooth tiger than join your tribe.

No. 10 – Forgetting to Call

No call, no show. It’s the worst thing you can do to kill trust in any relationship. Do it with a client and you’ll lose referrals or repeat business. Do it with a prospect and you’ll lose the sales. Do it with colleagues and you won’t get invited to the next collaboration.

No. 11 – Not Involving Everyone in the Group

See No. 9. Everyone wants to feel included. If you’re the host of the party, make room for all you invite. Engage them one-by-one. If you call a meeting, get everyone’s input.

No. 12 – Changing the Topic in the Middle of the Sentence

The surest way to let someone know you’re not paying attention is to be on your phone while they talk. The next closest way is to talk about something completely different than what they were talking about after they stop a sentence or idea.

Julian Leaver